


Perfectly Rational Adjustment

by Zinnith



Category: A-Team (2010)
Genre: Best Friends, Fights, Friendship, Gen, Kink Meme, Mental Illness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-07
Updated: 2010-08-07
Packaged: 2017-10-10 23:44:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/105757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zinnith/pseuds/Zinnith
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>Murdock might be the one who's certifiably insane, but Face is probably more than a little nuts himself and maybe that's the biggest reason for why this friendship works when it shouldn't.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Perfectly Rational Adjustment

**Author's Note:**

> For the A-team kink meme.

It begins like this:

Murdock sets Face's arm on fire, and then almost gets them all killed with a series of aerial stunts that shouldn't even be possible to perform. Afterwards, Hannibal tells Face that he wants Murdock and Baracus on the team full time and okay, Face can understand Baracus because the man is rock solid and just the kind of guy you want by your side in a fight, but Murdock?

"He's crazy," Face tells Hannibal. "Completely insane. Mental, nuts, unhinged, mad, demented, do I have to go on?"

Hannibal just puffs on his cigar and raises an eyebrow and says, "Yeah. So?" and that's it. Captain H.M. Murdock is on the team. Anyway, considering some of the things Face and Hannibal have pulled during the years they've worked together, he has to admit that Murdock will probably fit right in.

* * *

Face is pretty nervous on the team's first mission together after Mexico. Learning how to work smoothly together always takes a while, even if there are times when things just click and fit together like they're meant to be.

So when Hannibal sends Face and Murdock to acquire an ice cream truck (or any damn truck really, the ice cream is optional but would be preferable because it'll save them some work later), Face can't help but be a little worried. He and Murdock has been getting on all right once Face forgave him for the whole 'arm on fire' thing, but they haven't been on any major operations together yet and Face isn't sure exactly how it's going to work out.

Murdock grins and throws himself around Face's shoulders and says, "We're going to have _so_ much fun, aren't we, Facey?" Face just carefully removes his arms and hopes that it won't be a complete disaster.

The key to a successful con is to make people believe you're exactly where you're supposed to be. A clipboard and a disapproving expression usually works. Utility coveralls and a tool box is another good way to go. Face decides on a double assault this time, a clipboard for himself and a tool box for Murdock, and then they walk into the truck depot like they have every right in the world to be there.

It takes a little work to convince the depot manager that one of his trucks poses a danger to the public and needs to be taken away for immediate repairs. To Face's surprise and big relief, Murdock plays his part perfectly, following Face's lead the entire time and even improvising an impressive righteous temper tantrum to stop the depot manager to call his supervisor to confirm Face's story.

"We make a pretty good team, don't you think?" Murdock says on the way back, sitting in the passanger seat of the truck and eating an ice-cream he stole from the back.

Face has to agree, because that was _beautiful_. "Yeah, we do."

"This is going to be _great_," Murdock continues, bouncing a little in his seat. "Billy likes you too and he usually takes a loooong time to warm up to people."

"Billy?" Face asks, wondering what the hell Murdock is going on about.

"Yeah, my dog, Billy." Murdock reaches out to pat and stroke the air beside him, as if he's petting an invisible dog. "He's a real good dog, he's just not that fond of strangers. But he likes you."

"There's no..." Face begins, but then he stops himself. After all, Hannibal said to just go with it. He sticks out a hesitant hand and carefully pokes the empty space next to Murdock. "Good dog," he says.

Murdock's responding smile is wide and bright and just so goddamn _happy_ and Face thinks that, okay, this is probably going to work out pretty well after all.

* * *

It takes a little time to get used to Murdock's various peculiarities and the way he thinks. At first sight, it's easy to take him for just some lunatic, but the more Face gets to know him the more does he like the man. Murdock is smart, really smart, and amazingly well-read. He's fluent in at least five languages and can get by in a dozen more. He has a deep love for practical jokes, he's a good, if slightly dangerous, cook, and if it has wings or rotors, he can fly it.

Face finds that they don't just work well together on ops, he really likes hanging out with Murdock. They like the same films and the same books and it's interesting and challenging to have a discussion with Murdock because he always goes one step further and trying to follow his thought patterns until they arrive to whatever point he wants to make is a hell of a lot of fun. Face sometimes finds crossword puzzles that Murdock's filled in and while none of the answers are the ones the creator intended, the words somehow always fit anyway.

The more Face gets to know him, the more does he start to believe that Murdock isn't truly crazy at all. He just thinks in different directions than the rest of the human race. Maybe he's actually the only one who's sane and the rest of them are nuts for trying to make sense of an insane world.

But what Face does or doesn't believe doesn't matter much when Murdock does stuff like sitting naked in a tree for four days, and letting his sock puppets ask questions during mission briefings, and insisting that the base kitchen staff put some extra food in a bowl for Billy. He lives under the constant threat of the next psych evaluation, which might very well be the one that'll have him shipped back to the States and put in an institution somewhere.

Hannibal usually sorts it out by pulling some strings, most of which consists of telling whoever's in charge that Murdock is an essential part of the team and that they need him to keep pulling off successful missions. The higher-ups agree.

Face feels a brief flash of anger every time it happens, because it's just wrong that the Army is ready to completely disregard Murdock's mental health as long as he's still useful to them. Then he remembers what Murdock was like the first time they met in that hospital and Face knows that he's doing a lot better since he's been on the team.

"Doesn't it bother you that everyone thinks you're crazy?" Face asks Murdock one afternoon when he's stuck in medical again, because the two past days he's refused to communicate in anything else than Latin. "I mean, I've seen you act normal, I know you can do it."

"_Hei mihi, insanire me ajunt, ultro cum ipsi insaniunt._" Murdock answers.

* * *

Most of the time, it's easy to think of Murdock as just a little weird and quirky and forget that he has some real, actual problems. By now, Face has stopped feeling uncomfortable about it because no matter how bad things get, Murdock always, always pulls through when they need him.

But then there are the times when it's impossible to pretend. The times when Murdock goes quiet and pulls away from them, turns his back and keeps his mouth shut. Sometimes it's just for an hour or two and then he'll be back to annyoing the hell out of BA and walking his invisible dog. (Face likes Billy; he reminds him of the imaginary dog he used to have when he was seven because even then he knew he'd never get a real one.) But sometimes it goes on for days and Face can't help but get a little worried.

When he's in one of his moods, Murdock can usually be found somewhere around the outskirts of whatever base they happen to be on at the time, and Face usually goes to find him, just to make sure he's not going to do something really stupid.

Today, Murdock is sitting alone on a packing crate, hugging his legs and staring at nothing.

"Hey, you okay?" Face asks and sits down beside him, not so close that they're touching but close enough that Murdock knows that he's there.

Murdock looks up, looks away and then looks at Face. His eyes are lost and he looks very young and very old at the same time and Face can't help but wondering what the hell he's been through, what happened to him before they met up?

"Yeah," Murdock says eventually and then barks out a hoarse humourless laugh and taps his temple with one finger. "Gettin' a little crowded in here 's all."

And the scary thing is that Face gets it, understands completely. He's spent more than his fair share of mornings waking up and trying to figure out who he's supposed to be today, picking out a name and a cover to wear like other people pick out clothes. Murdock might be the one who's certifiably insane, but Face is probably more than a little nuts himself and maybe that's the biggest reason for why this friendship works when it shouldn't.

"Want me to leave you alone?" he asks.

Murdock just shakes his head and slides a little closer. Not too close, just enough that their sleeves barely touch. "No, not you. You're real."

Face has to hold back a chuckle because he's not, he's really not, he's nothing but a cheat and a con and a lie and a goddamn collection of different faces. But Murdock seems to think differently and maybe, just maybe, that's what makes Face real.

* * *

When Charisa leaves, Face's world falls apart. The stupid thing is that he should have expected it. He's gotten so used to being the one left behind that he's started to make a habit of always being the one who leaves first, because it's just easier that way. But with Charisa, it was different. He tried to talk himself into it, over and over again, knew that he should just walk out he door and never come back, but he just couldn't. For Charisa, he wanted to stay. He never met anyone quite like her before. No one has ever been that clever and gorgeous and unwilling to put up with his bullshit just because of his pretty face.

In the end, she's the one to walk out on him, and it's like she put her gun to his heart and pulled the trigger. The first days it's all he can do to keep breathing. Everything he sees reminds him of her and there are times when he just wants to go bang his head against a wall because he shouldn't be this broken up over a _woman_, but he is.

When he tells the guys, BA pulls a sad little face, claps his back and says, "I'm sorry, man." Hannibal takes him out to get drunk and Face gladly complies and proceeds to get absolutely shitfaced because he just wants to be numb and no hangover in the world could possibly be worse than this terrible empty feeling.

Murdock just frowns at him and gives him a thoughtful look and says, "Well, it wasn't going to last anyway, was it? She has that CID job coming up and we're going overseas again next month."

Of all the times for Murdock to be rational and make sense, this is so not the right moment and Face swallows around the anger and sneers, "And what the hell do _you_ know about anything, you crazy son of a bitch."

Murdock sniffs, looking offended and a little hurt because while it's okay to joke about him being crazy, it's completely different when you use it to be mean, and he says, "If you're going to be like _that_, it's no wonder she left you."

Then Face hits Murdock in the eye, and Murdock starts yelling and tries to hit him back and Hannibal and BA have to pull them off each other before someone gets seriously hurt because when two Rangers get into a fight, they don't pull any punches.

BA takes Murdock to put some ice on his eye and Hannibal sends Face outside to cool off and he spends a long time pacing up and down just outside the front door, cursing a streak and wishing he could hit Murdock again, when the one he really wants to hit is Charisa for leaving but mostly himself for letting her.

After a while, the door opens and Murdocks steps outside, with an icepack pressed to his face. "Are you hungry?" he asks, removing the icepack to reveal the magnificent black eye forming there and Face feels a little bad about it now. "I could make my lethal chili."

Murdock always offers to cook instead of apologising, and Face feels even worse now because _he_ should be apologising instead, and he can't find the words for it and he's tired of being such a damn mess because of Charisa. Just thinking her name makes him want to hit something and he can't hit Murdock again so he slams his fist into the wall instead, feels the knuckles he bruised against Murdock's face split and begin to bleed.

"I loved her, Murdock. I fucking loved her." He's never said it out loud before, certainly not to Charisa, and what really tears him up is that even if he had told her, she would've left him anyway.

For once, Murdock doesn't say anything. He just goes to get the first-aid kit and puts disinfectant and a couple of band-aids on Face's knuckles and then he stands there, quietly watching how Face tries to blink the moisture away from his eyes.

The next time Face sees Charisa is in Iraq, just before everything goes to hell, and by then he's gone through the grief stage and the bitterness stage and right into the anger stage. It feels really good to sit there with Murdock and sing about how 'El Diablo esta niña' and hate the bitch together (even though what he really wants to do deep down is to tear out the damn IV and run after her and beg her to come back because he still loves her and he always will.)

* * *

Face knows that he should try to get some sleep, that he should go lie down and try to relax, because if he keeps this up, he's going to be far too exhausted to be useful when it counts. Instead, he sits up, drinks mug after mug of awful instant coffee and goes over the plan until his brain hurts and he wants to scream.

What if he missed something? He's not sure what it would be; he's gone over it so many times already that he knows every possible kink, and Hannibal has gone over it too and deemed the whole thing acceptable, good even, but Face still has doubts. He can't think like Hannibal does, has always been better at bluff poker than chess. If there's one tiny little flaw in his plan, the whole thing could blow up in their faces, he could get all of them killed.

Murdock turns up in the small hours, sits down at the table and looks at the playing board, the little figures and the notes, and Face swallows. He can't stop himself, he has to put words on his fears, and Murdock is the only one he can think of to tell. Murdock just listens to him trying to explain and looks like he doesn't understand at all.

"Murdock," Face says finally. "I'm not Hannibal." He wishes he was. Hannibal's plans _work_ and they always come back alive, if not always in one piece. Face's plans usually end up with him drenched in gasoline and ultimately with his arm on fire.

Murdock leans forward. "Who has the most to lose on this, Face?" he asks. "Me. And I trust you."

It's true, it's so true that it's tearing Face up inside. Murdock is the one who's taking the biggest risk, he's the one who could get riddled with bullets or worse, and it should be Face in his position. But Face is the one in the hood, he won't be able to direct things, so there really is no other way to do this. Still, that unconditional trust in Murdock's eyes makes him feel sick to his stomach.

"Yeah I know," he says. "But... " Face laughs a little and smiles because he's always found a smile to be the best way to hide how seriously fucking scared he is. "You're crazy."

Murdock lifts the improvised helmet onto the table where it lands with a clink. "Not that crazy."

Face smiles again and this time it's sincere and for the first time since Morrison died, he's beginning to believe that they actually might get through all this alive.

-fin.


End file.
